What to do with failure

Stupid question right off the bat... have you ever failed at something? Have you ever said that you would be there for someone... then let them down, worse yet been in such a place as to leave them hanging when you told them you would be there for them?

Not what we would call best case scenario for living life like we want, huh? This past week I spent at a men's retreat here in Germany. The week long topic and focus of the retreat was AGAPE. I think most of us have heard enough Bible lessons and sermons to know right off the bat that the Greek has three different words for our English word Love. Different types of Greek words for different nuances of our word. So is the order of languages... Ha, you should see the difference between English and German.. :-)

In looking at the word, Agape, it seems the best way to describe this type of love is a love that does the right thing. Treats people the right way, even when it is difficult to do, even when they are not doing the right thing. It is not so much an emotional type of love like Phileo, but a love that is practiced because we have made a decision to do the right thing. I think that much of our Christian walk is actually this Agape love. We are told by Jesus to treat others the way we want to be treated ourselves, this is not dictated by how others treat us but how we wish to be treated. That my friends is not an emotional love but a decision to do the right thing. Not easy sometimes, but a direct instruction from our Savior. I also think that is how we show our love for God our Father. We love Him when we DO what he says. Jesus said if we love Him (and love God) we will do what he has asked us to do. That my friends is a decision. Yes, emotion does come into it, but if emotion is all that is there... it just won't last. We make a decision to follow Jesus and do what he teaches and we are showing our love for God.

I find it quite interesting, Jesus' discussion with Peter at the end of John's Gospel...
John 21:15-17

When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon son of John, do you truly love me more than these?” “Yes, Lord,” he said, “you know that I love you.” Jesus said, “Feed my lambs.” Again Jesus said, “Simon son of John, do you truly love me?” He answered, “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.” Jesus said, “Take care of my sheep.” The third time he said to him, “Simon son of John, do you love me?” Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, “Do you love me?” He said, “Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you.” Jesus said, “Feed my sheep.

Remember this is the first time Peter would have once again talked with Jesus since he left him to be crucified... deserted him... denied him... looked into his eyes when he heard the rooster crow... guilt, sorrow, frustration, humiliation, anger, pain, disappointment, embarrassment,.... can you imagine the gammit of emotions he was feeling? If your like me, you can. Because you too have let someone down, you too have failed someone, directly or indirectly... I can relate to Peter. Jesus asks him the question, do you love me? He asks him three times... perhaps because Peter had denied him three times, perhaps because Peter was feeling so many emotions about what he had done, he was not really hearing what Jesus was saying. Let me see if I can make any since of what I mean... look at the breakdown of the questions:

[15] Jesus: Do you love [agapao] me? Peter: I love [phileo] you.
[16] Jesus: Do you love [agapao] me? Peter: I love [phileo] you.
[17] Jesus: Do you love [phileo] me? Peter: I love [phileo] you.

Jesus ask Peter the first two times "Will you make a decision to do the things that I have told you to do. Will you show love for me by being a leader and taking care of my followers?"
Peter answers him with "Yes, I have an emotional love for you. You are my friend and I have feelings for you"

Then Jesus asks in the third question if Peter has emotional love for him.

Okay, where am I going with this. Peter failed Jesus. Point blank simple. Perhaps we can really relate to that. Maybe a time comes into your mind when you remember a time when you have failed someone that you love (phileo) or maybe a time when you have failed God (agape)... I think we can all relate on some level, that is why God gives us this example in scripture.

Jesus was calling Peter (and is calling us) to a higher calling. Jesus says that if we really love him we will make the decision to do things his way. As we serve him... ie feeding his sheep... we have to make a decision to love (agape) God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength and to love (agape) others like ourselves. To treat them, to love them (agape), the way we want to be treated and loved. Yes, we are an emotional people, God made us that way, Jesus was that way too. But, Jesus did what had to be done, he was crucified on the cross for us, that was not emotion my friends, that was a decision to do the right thing. That is the highest form of love. That is the same love God had for us while we were still sinners... He decided to send his one and only son to die for us, because it was what was best for us, not what was best for Him. His decision enables us to have a relationship with Him, but it was not the easy thing for Him to do, but it was the best thing for us... He so Loves us (apages us). Praise His name.

Jesus came to Peter... knowing how he was feeling, knowing the thoughts and emotions he was having. Jesus knows how we feel when we let him down too. He knows how we are feeling when we let other people down. Jesus didn't so much focus on Peter's failure as he did focus on where Peter would go from this point on... what would he do now? So, my question for you today is, what will you do from this point on today? Where are you at? Are you at a point in your life where you have just given up and gone back fishing... that is what Peter had done. What else could he do, it was what he knew how to do? Are you at a point in your life where you feel like you have failed God so bad that you have just given up and gone back to your life before God? Then these scriptures are for you. Have you been fighting discouragement because he just seem to be letting God down because you just can't seem to live the life for him you want? Those "little sins" just keep creeping in? Then these scriptures are for you.

Jesus came to Peter. Think about that. JESUS CAME AND FOUND PETER, the very one who just shortly before left him out to dry. Jesus challenged him to make a new commitment to follow him and being a worker in His kingdom. Jesus does not focus on our failures, he focuses on what we can do and what we should be doing and lovingly (agape and phileo) leads and challenges us in that direction.

My challenge for you and me today is to let go of those failures, don't forget them because they are a good reminder for us to stay committed to the decision that we made to do it Jesus' way, but also not to be crippled by our failures. Jesus was helping Peter look to the future. Jesus helps us to look and see the future, of serving Him by serving others. We can learn from our mistakes. They will makes us stronger. Look at the difference in Peter's life. He made the love decision (agape) to do it God's way and because of that we have so many examples of how we can and should live as we serve God. What kind of differences are you going to make because of the decision you make to live and serve God? What kind of legacy will you leave through living your life in love for God and for others?

I know that this one was very long... hope I did not loose you... hope it helps... hope you can think about these things and give me your thoughts on where I was going with this... we are in this together. Thanks for your time and thoughts.

Mark